A deeply engraved social script

Zia Darakshan

In Kashmir, caste is not just a relic of the past, it is a living, breathing entity that lurks beneath everyday interactions, camouflaged under modernity yet stubbornly dictating social hierarchies. It is not just about surnames or ancestry anymore, it has evolved into a complex web of status markers, how you speak, where you live, even how confidently you order a cup of tea. While the old caste labels still cling to people like an unwanted nickname, a new caste system has quietly emerged, where the ‘city-bred’ flaunt their supposed sophistication, and the ‘rural’ tirelessly strive to keep up. But no matter how hard you try to rewrite your social script, in Kashmir, someone will always be there to remind you exactly where you belong.
For instance, there are many terms which are mostly known in the Kashmiri vernacular such as ’Greese’, ‘Gujjar’, ‘Wan Wathmuth’, ‘Kandi’, ‘Gamuk.’ Most of the terms are used interchangably, however ‘Greese’ is the one which is used the most by people in Srinagar.
You see, in Srinagar, there is an unspoken rule, if you don’t know how to parallel park, you are immediately labeled ‘greuss.’
If you ask for extra chutney with your kebabs, in your own dialect you’re ‘gamuk.’ Heaven forbid you mispronounce a fancy English word in a conversation, congratulations, you have just secured your lifetime membership in the ‘greuss’ club.
Meanwhile, a Srinagarite can skillfully drive on the wrong side of the road, ask for extra chutney in perfect Urdu, and call ‘genre’ as ‘jan-ray’ with confidence, and still walk away unscathed.
It is a fascinating hierarchy of judgment, where the secret to survival is not refinement but the ability to fake it better than the other person.
Srinagar, the capital city, has every reason to flaunt its charm, not just in the present but also in the past. What makes it so appealing, according to its residents, is the size and architecture of its buildings, the scenic beauty, the blend of old and new infrastructure, the contrast of good and bad roads, fancy restaurants, and enticing places to visit. Most importantly,what grabs the eyeballs is the style ,modernity , mannerism and attitude of its people that sets it apart.
People from towns like Anantnag,Baramulla, Kupwara etc, are notably influenced by its culture and language. Though Kashmiri is spoken throughout the region the dialect in Srinagar often considered softer, more melodious, and perhaps grammatically correct,atleast according to the claims of its natives.This difference is akin to the contrast between the refined Queen’s English of England and the standard English spoken elsewhere.
Even the Urdu spoken in Srinagar differs from that spoken in other districts, as the Urdu spoken in other districts often blends the tone of its local Kashmiri with the language, making it more or less like a Bollywood dub gone horribly wrong.
Apart from dialect differences in language there are other parameters which might make one stand out when in Srinagar.For instance, if someone makes a mistake while driving, the most common remark you’ll hear from Srinagarites is that the driver is “gruess”,rustic. The term implies that, being “gruess,” the person cannot drive properly. The insult doesn’t stop there—it often escalates to comments like, “These greese come to Srinagar, don’t know how to drive, and even though they’ve bought houses here, they still lack the manners to live in the capital city.”
Now, the question arises: who are the ‘Greese/Gruess’? While the dictionary defines ‘Gruess’ as a farmer or rural person who lacks manners, appears awkward, and exhibits rustic behavior devoid of delicacy or refinement, ‘Greese’ is the plural form of ‘Gruess.
“Greese” is a term often used , in Srinagar, to demean people, highlighting their awkwardness and perceived unsuitability. And yes, this isn’t restricted to Srinagar. While people in Srinagar use “greese” to describe people from other districts, those living in the districts further use the term to refer to folks from villages.
The word “gruess” is often used for people who have settled or come to Srinagar from other districts . Even if these people have lived in the city for years,but the natives of the city consider it their inherent right to label them as “greese,” regardless of their educational or intellectual pursuits. A person from the verdant lanes of Srinagar may take pride in his ignorance yet spare no effort in insulting an erudite and luminary emanating from a village inferior and therefore an object of ridicule.
In recent years, people from villages have outshone their Srinagar evil twins in education and intellectual progress, leaving many urban dwellers unable to compete or keep up.However, the discrimination still persists, and it has a ripple effect as well. Although people living in districts and villages are aware of this prejudice, they strive harder to stay one step ahead when it comes to displaying social status. This mindset is often evident during festivities, celebrations, mourning ceremonies, and, most notably, weddings.
To compete with Srinagarites, people from districts often source their items—such as eatery, clothing ,jewellery, furniture, etc.—from Srinagar, even when the same items are available in their own areas. This is done to ensure they are not looked down upon. When it comes to hiring a waza (traditional Kashmiri chef), affluent families avoid taking the risk of being embarrassed in front of Srinagar guests. If something goes wrong with the cooking, especially the wazwan (a multi-course meal), Srinagarites are quick to accuse the gruess or gamuk waza of ruining the wedding meal and will not hesitate to criticize the host family for being “greese.”
Sometime back I attended a wedding ceremony of a gamuk(rural) family who hosted a grand party in one of Srinagar’s swanky hotels. The gathering was a mix of gamuk/rural and shaer /city guests.The hosts had meticulously planned every detail, organizing the event in a lavish manner. The celebration was no less than a Bollywood affair, with elegant attire, lively dancing, and exquisite food that left everyone impressed. The spectacle was an eye-opener for people, who often refer to them as greese or gamek. This extravagant display of celebration made me realize how, despite the apparent differences, both groups are caught in the same rat race — one driven by perceptions, pride, and expectations.
This dog-eat-dog world, stemming from complexes whether it’s greese vs sheharuk,(rural vs urban) the real reason for an urban to degrade a gruess isn’t rooted in these labels.The city dweller throws the label of gamuk not because it’s a war of ideologies or social setups, nor is it a battle of mindsets. Rather, it’s born out of frustration,jealousy and intolerance.It’s a mechanism used to deride someone who either cannot compete with them or fears they will never attain such a standing. Hence, the slander is directed at the gruess. Humiliating the other person provides them with a sense of satisfaction, as they lack the ability to confront the real issue at hand.
Similarly, the greese well aware of the bias, often try to place themselves a step ahead of the urbanites by going the extra mile in showing off. Even if they have to burn a hole in their pockets to cover up their insecurities, they won’t hesitate to go empty-handed.
At the heart of this sheharuk vs greese battle lies a constant struggle that is only ever concealed by one thing: the moment the real hypocrisy of this conflict gets exposed. When a city folk marries into a rural family, seeing their status and wealth, he won’t mind marrying his son or daughter into a greese family but would actually prefer a rural over a City slickers family. This is when the gamuk/greese takes the final sigh of victory, emerging like a Roman gladiator triumphing in the Colosseum.
My point here is not to offend or belittle any class, society, or caste. In reality, the greese vs sheharuk conflict is based on parameters that were fixed long ago.
To truly understand the deeper meaning of greese, it boils down to one phenomenon: greese is not just someone who is awkward or unpolished; it also refers to a person who is mean, selfish, and someone who uses others for their own benefit. A gruess is the one who has an eye on others’ assets, uses people, makes false commitments, and constantly comes up with excuses to blame others. They are especially untrustworthy in matters of money and relationships.
I remember from my childhood an acquaintance from Srinagar, highly regarded in our family and from a noble background, asking my mother for a small sum of 500 rupees, claiming he needed it for a while. My mother, married into a greese family according to the standards of Srinagarites, helped him. But ironically, the man who ran off with her meagre money wasn’t a gruess—he was a Srinagarite.
Another instance involved a lady who married an NRI and moved with him to the US. However, she was deceived, divorced, and had to return. Again, the man who deceived her was not a gruess; he was a well-bred cosmopolitan(Srinagar) ..
In another instance, a villager was duped when a fraudster took off with his hard-earned savings. Yet, he continues to hope that one day, conscience will prevail, and the money will be returned. Ironically, it wasn’t the villager who acted selfishly or deceitfully—it was a so-called well-bred city dweller.
This mentality of Urban vs rural may exist in many parts of the world, but in our society, it has its own melodramatic story. It’s almost like the behavior of chameleons, where people change according to convenience. It’s not that a gamuk doesn’t want to be like a sheharuk, or that a sheharuk doesn’t want to be like a gamuk. It’s also not entirely the case that gamuk represents less show-off or discipline; however, it’s true that gamuks also raise fingers at sheharuks, calling them show-off butterflies. They often criticize Sheharuk girls for being overly focused on fashion, alluding to the idea that they were easily led astray and lacked the same moral grounding as others .
I remember an acquaintance who used to compare the colleges of Gamuk and Sheharuk, drawing a strict moral line between the two. According to her, Gamuk colleges were “sharief” (respectable) institutions where a girl’s character would remain intact. In contrast, Sheharuk colleges were dens of moral corruption—places where, in her words, a girl would inevitably lose her way, no questions asked.This was the mindset of Gamuk people many years ago.
Today, we might see more Gamuk people on social media . Perhaps more girls than Srinagarites, boldly showing their skin, yet still blaming Sheharuk for the overexposure of their daughters. We may have more Srinagarites driving recklessly, yet pointing fingers at Gamuks. We may see more women from Gamuk communities joining colleges, even outside the UT, while still being in denial about sending their daughters out of sight. We may have more Srinagarites in favour of marrying their children into Gamuk families, yet still holding onto the notion of Gamuk/ greuss.
I may not be entirely right, and I may not be entirely wrong in expressing these views. These are facts we all face at one point or another.. After all, we are human beings, and humans have evolved, showing a continuous process of evolution since their birth. We will keep evolving, one way or another. Right now, we are in a phase of transition, moving from the old to the new. To truly embrace a new skin, one must first shed the old—lest they become the wolf in sheep’s clothing.