Best Friend vs Relationship

Farhana Rakshand

Srinagar,16, April: One of the most important building blocks in our society is the social interaction between its different cultural groups. Without interaction, no dealings are possible.

In an attempt to create smooth communication between people, our society came up with the concept, friendship.

The word “friend” was coined by some religious societies only in the 17^th century. Later, the word extended to “Friend-ship”.

The paradigm shift of mindset:

With changes in the economic or social systems, Generation X (born between 1965-1980) saw the greatest alteration in the mindset about communication. People began to value friendship more than anything else. Various quotes reinforced the human being’s most valuable association: Friendship.

Even some TV shows, popular worldwide, like “Friends,” were based on this bonding between people.  Everybody began after the trend that was portrayed in the show. Even the conjugal ties established on a friendship note that later shaped in a proper alliance between two opposite genders.

As same-gender marriage was not allowed in earlier times, a conjugal alliance became a hurdle in maintaining the so-called friendship for such individuals.

However, Generation Y (born between 1980 and 1994) went overboard interacting with others which affected the important association among humankind. Disguised as friends, people took advantage of their social status and power. The sacred kinship was destroyed just to find a friend. People in a hue of confusion shunned their responsibilities. They started taking friendship as a tool to be used in different ways to mend their broken hearts.

This BFF streak (best friend forever) is widespread across the world. Various social network sites are responsible for this bewilderment wherein everyone hastens to make acquaintances.

We often see adolescents and adults alike, particularly busy with messaging on social media platforms. This craze has taken an ugly shape in our society. If we don’t teach our children how to invest their time wisely in all the relationships, then the time is not far away when family members would give each other a cold shoulder. Social media platforms have increased our loneliness, we should understand that.

The best example is the recent movie star who committed suicide because apparently, his friends in the industry did not pay attention to him. He should have had his family fill the void he felt, which might have removed the suicidal thoughts he was developing. The people from his industries were not his blood; sadly, they were those ‘friends’ which I mentioned above.

To seek a true companion through friendship, I believe, should not affect your other kith and kin. The overwhelming indulgence in seeking friendships has arisen from the dissatisfaction in every other relationship we foster. When we are not true towards our other relationships, we want to invest in a replacement.

Do we really need a friend?

This idea can be understood as follows: Imagine a son and a father; the son’s bond with his father demands some respect, prudence, and more responsibilities to define or give meaning to this biological association between the two. If the son fails to perform his responsibility, it may indicate that the father might have failed to fulfill his. Unfulfilled responsibilities, expectations lead to devastation in any relationship. With grudges, they distance or disconnect from each other.

This brings them to look for some kindred spirit who can carry all their burden of expectations. Such spirit acts as larger than life image for them.

Being torn, they meet such spirits to disconcert each other due to their distasteful experiences with their immediate environment.

In the TV series Friends, the main characters seemed confused in choosing their friends as partners. One day one character (friend) would want to get married for companionship to another character. In the very next episode, s/he would declare that the other character is no more than her/his friend. All this confusion made me conclude that this show was directed to portray that no matter how many times two people would consider the other as the ‘significant one’, in the end, they remain friends. This idea is preposterous. Friends who behave like flickering lights would create utter confusion.

Why do we need a friend?

We as humans want love, importance, and ego pacification, but it is not possible to get all this from that one friend. Friends can be our brothers, sisters, or even our mothers. Every relation has its own taste. One cannot mix all the ingredients in one cooking dish in order to relish the taste of all the dishes together. Everyone has their fixed place with a fixed role in anybody’s life. If we put a certain responsibility on each person present in our life, we would never need a ‘so-called friend’.

Nobody would feel lonely anymore.

Conclusion:

So interaction should not be limited to friendship only but also with other kinsfolk present in our life.

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